My Dear Belligerents are gone. What to do?
Senior Member
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 262
Likes: 0
From: Southern California
Originally Posted by SERIES7
anyone down for some wells fargo cafe today? If not, that's cool 
Waiter- "We recently hired a firm of consultants to improve our customer's dining room experience and maximize our staff's effectiveness... they made a correlational time management story-boarding root cause analysis and determined that the item most dropped by customers was the spoon, and if replaced before the soup cooled more than 3.7%, the tip-per-customer ratio would increase by 2.3%, so here we are with spoons in our shirt pockets"
Bill- "Brilliant! What other things did these people recommend?"
Waiter-You see this string hanging out of my zipper?
Bill- Yeah...
Waiter- Well, they also figured out that the time spent washing our hands in the bathroom after taking a leak could be eliminated if somehow we would avoid touching our *****... so we put on these pull strings to "pull it out", therefore not touching anything and not having to wash... It's approved by the Health Department, and the device received a product of the year award from the Foodservice and Facility Management Recognition Board!
Bill- But how do you put it back in?
Waiter (leaning closer) - Well, I don't know about others... but I use the spoon!
Now I don't care who are you that **** right there is funny. 
Originally Posted by Marcus_F
The Wells Fargo cafe is far safer than some of the high end plaes around town. A friend of mine, who we'll call Bill Wilson was having lunch at a nice, trendy restaurant when he drops his spoon. He hadn't even glanced over when the waiter pulled a new spoon out of his shirt pocket and gave it to him.. "nice servcie" he thought. A few minutes later, a man's wife dropped her spoon, and again the waiter immediately pulled a spoon out of his shirt pocket and replaced it. Bill looked around, and noticed that all waiters had spoons in the shirt pockets and would replace a fallen one even before it hit the floor... when the waiter came back, the man asked him about it, to which he replied:
Waiter- "We recently hired a firm of consultants to improve our customer's dining room experience and maximize our staff's effectiveness... they made a correlational time management story-boarding root cause analysis and determined that the item most dropped by customers was the spoon, and if replaced before the soup cooled more than 3.7%, the tip-per-customer ratio would increase by 2.3%, so here we are with spoons in our shirt pockets"
Bill- "Brilliant! What other things did these people recommend?"
Waiter-You see this string hanging out of my zipper?
Bill- Yeah...
Waiter- Well, they also figured out that the time spent washing our hands in the bathroom after taking a leak could be eliminated if somehow we would avoid touching our *****... so we put on these pull strings to "pull it out", therefore not touching anything and not having to wash... It's approved by the Health Department, and the device received a product of the year award from the Foodservice and Facility Management Recognition Board!
Bill- But how do you put it back in?
Waiter (leaning closer) - Well, I don't know about others... but I use the spoon!
Waiter- "We recently hired a firm of consultants to improve our customer's dining room experience and maximize our staff's effectiveness... they made a correlational time management story-boarding root cause analysis and determined that the item most dropped by customers was the spoon, and if replaced before the soup cooled more than 3.7%, the tip-per-customer ratio would increase by 2.3%, so here we are with spoons in our shirt pockets"
Bill- "Brilliant! What other things did these people recommend?"
Waiter-You see this string hanging out of my zipper?
Bill- Yeah...
Waiter- Well, they also figured out that the time spent washing our hands in the bathroom after taking a leak could be eliminated if somehow we would avoid touching our *****... so we put on these pull strings to "pull it out", therefore not touching anything and not having to wash... It's approved by the Health Department, and the device received a product of the year award from the Foodservice and Facility Management Recognition Board!
Bill- But how do you put it back in?
Waiter (leaning closer) - Well, I don't know about others... but I use the spoon!
CEO of Belligerents INC.
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,163
Likes: 2
From: 213 is the Clique
Originally Posted by wackyracer
whats so funny about that. I get more kick from going to monthly RX meet and meeting ppl driving a piston. 
How do you drive a piston?
Sorry Mel, I don't speak Fobbanese!
CEO of Belligerents INC.
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,163
Likes: 2
From: 213 is the Clique
I just found out that Rotary Xecret is closing down there shop. Quite sad but best wishes to Tony and company. Also, we can't forget those memorable BBQs that spawned and gave birth to the Belligerents.
THANK YOU TONY!
THANK YOU TONY!
Belligerent Security
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 70
Likes: 0
From: Pulling you over
Originally Posted by DJDINO
I just found out that Rotary Xecret is closing down there shop. Quite sad but best wishes to Tony and company. Also, we can't forget those memorable BBQs that spawned and gave birth to the Belligerents.
THANK YOU TONY!
THANK YOU TONY!
<===8
Senior Member
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 262
Likes: 0
From: Southern California
Originally Posted by wackyracer
whats so funny about that. I get more kick from going to monthly RX meet and meeting ppl driving a piston.
A woman meets Wacky in a bar during his lunch break.
They talk, they connect, and they end up leaving together.
They get back to Der Wackmeister's bachelor pad and she notices that his bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears.
Hundreds of cute small bears on a lower shelf near the floor, cuddly medium-sized ones on a shelf a little higher, and huge enormous bears on the top shelf along the wall.
The woman is surprised that Wacky would have a collection of teddy bears, especially one that's so extensive, but she decides not to mention this to him, and actually is quite impressed by his sensitive side.
She turns to him... they kiss... and then they rip each other's clothes off.
After an extended lunch break of passion with this sensitive guy, they're lying there together in the afterglow. Right about then the woman rolls over and asks him, smiling,
"Well Wacky, how was it?"
Wacky sez:
"Help yourself to any prize from the bottom shelf."
