There was an older man who'd married a younger woman. All was going well... except in the bedroom. He couldn't last long enough to satisfy her. She said it didn't matter but he knew it was getting her down. So he went to the doctor and asked for help. The doctor said 'Well, there's one easy solution. Before you have intercourse with your wife, satisfy yourself first, that way you'll last longer when you're with her.'

The next day the man gets a call from his wife while he's at work. In a husky voice she tells him 'I'm going to ravish you when you get home tonight. We're going to have a mammoth sex session.' The man can't concentrate on work for the rest of the day and finally 5:30 comes round and he's the first out of the office, eager to get back to his wife.

While he's driving he remembers his doctor's advice. So he pulls over onto a quiet road. But he can't just sit there in his car having a ****, so he decides he'll lie under the car and pretend that he's fixing he car.

He crawls under the car, closes his eyes, imagines his wife naked and starts wanking. After a while he feels something tugging at jeans and this voice says 'Sir, this is the Police, would you mind telling us what you're doing?'

Not wanting to lose this wonderful image of his wife he kept his eyes closed and said to the Policeman, 'I'm just fixing the axle of my car'

To which the Policeman replied 'Well while you're down there you'd better check the brakes as well, because your car has crashed into a tree half a mile down the road!

 

that was dumb.

 

ninja is the dumb

 

So what time is the BBQ on 7/9?

 

stupid, the secret one was good tho

-Andrew

 

Ihope I'm not to late to save this post

A business man ends up in Vegas for a few days because of work. On his first night he takes a stroll out on the town and comes across a fine looking lady of the night.

She asks him if he would like some company and he in turn asks what her company would cost him? She says $1k dollars will get you the whole package and the business man laughs at that price and says how about $50 bucks? The lady of the night returns the laugh and says no way.

The next evening the business mans wife joins him in Vegas. While they were walking through the lobby of their hotel the lady of the night spots the business man and approaches him and his wife says see what you get for $50 bucks....

"Now that's funny I don't care who you are"

 

maybe you told it wrong?

 

Lord forgive DBreeze, and be with the starving pygmies in New Guinea... Amen

 

Breez = teh

 

It is what it is. It's all arbitrary. Ah huh...yeah yeah.

 

yeah yeah

 

haha, get er done.