So, a female friend and I were eating dinner in a *well lit* nice restaurant when I suddenly **** in my pants uncontrollably. I had gas earlier in the day but nothing major and I can't remember if I passed some gas right before this happened or not but this was FAR worse than a shart, this was a full service, colon cleaning ****. I felt it come out and I'm thinking "WTF is this?", I tried clenching but it kept coming. Within 10 seconds I could smell it and I'm sure she did too so I jumped up and ran towards the bathroom without saying anything and on my way to the bathroom even more came out.
When I made it to the bathroom I completely undressed then started cleaning myself (threw my favorite pair of boxers away) but what worries me the most was the large wet spot on my jeans that all of the restaurant probably noticed, not to mention the smell following me. I'm only praying that the wet spot didn't occur until the 2nd batch of shitting which was out of range from my date.

There was **** EVERYWHERE! And it wasn't solid **** either! It was splattered on my *****, down my legs, even on my *****. It was gross.
So after about 15 minutes I came back to the table with an even larger wet spot on my *** from cleaning my jeans and I made up a BS story about how I saw an old high school friend going into the bathroom which is why I got up so quickly then we ended up talking for a while in the bathroom which is the reason why I was gone so long.
I think she bought it. I'm sure she smelled it but I'm hoping she just thought it was a fart (which is bad enough) So, we were gonna come back to my house but I told her I was really tired and I dropped her off early.
It was terrible.
Am I alone here in shitting your pants? :-/

 

I shat my shorts in my cousin's car while on our way to pick up pizza. It (my cornhole) itched the whole way home.

 

the guys over at nasioc made me this cool chop:

 

damn dude, that f/n sucks..im sorry man, damn in front of your girl?! ugh. i would have been pissed...

:AA:

 

i hope this is just a made-up story for entertainment.

 

sounds like.....i mean smells like B.S. to me < I KNOW ITS LAME>

 

If that wasn't made up....omg you totally jsut pwned yourself like x109823u9472349876239

 

wow...even to make that up...only one word describes that





SAVAGE

 

I remember a few months ago we were getting high and a buddy came down from the bay and twas his first time getting high. Well he hit the bong and eventually started to cough. Well after like 30-45 seconds of non stop coughin he says, "damn.....I think I shat my pants."..lol...we all start laughing for a few minutes being lit an all. Then I realize wtf??...Im goin outside for a cigg cause he was just standing there....Standing there like he was waiting for the next bowl to be packed ...wtf????

 

Are you geriatric?

 

vhalin: one question? Why do you keep spreading this story around the internet?
Series7: SOY is the single most greatest product on earth!! May I come and visit your land of soy? Seeing you're the ambassador and all, you probably get in all the best clubs right?

 

i've never met a heterosexual vegitarian.

 

I haven't either.

VHalin, bro I hope you made this up. If it is true then you may want to change up your diet some.

 

drink beer every night. Cleans up your system in the morning. ****, get to the habit of using the head at least twice a day phaggot!!

 

^ papa smurf tells no lies!

 

The head?? Wacky were you a squid??

 

yes,.............................................. ........this is why Wacko is a PLECOSTOMUS now!
...........................and good at it too.

 

Yes sir. former DC3 from the ol navy (old ship # on my left hand) reporting for duty.

 

goof. not the head that you always give me. its a different lingo.

 

That's cool Old Salty, I mean Wacky.

 

lol

 

oh i thought that was a gang sign

 

old school stuff in my back and upper arms. 2 needles service was painful

 

hahah this is fukn funny! i would be soo embarrased.

 

i always make sure to take a shat before i go out with a girl