It is said to be old, so you might know it, sorry if you do

ULTIMATE POWER
I borrowed my wife's Geo Metro last night. One liter of raw power, 3
cylinders of asphalt-tearing terror on thirteen-inch rims. It's stock,
alright, nothing done to it, but it pushes the barely 2000 pounds of metro
around with AUTHORITY. I'm always catching mopeds and 18-wheelers by
surprise...

I was headed back from Baskin Robbins with my manly triple-latte cappuccino
blast ("No Cinnamon, ma'am, I take it BLACK"), when I stopped at a
streetlight. As the Metro throbbed its throaty idle around me, I sipped my
bold beverage and wiped the white froth my stiff upper lip. I was minding
my own business, but then I heard a rev from the next lane.

I turned, made eye contact, then let my eyes trace over the competition.
Ford Festiva -- a late model, could be trouble. Low profile tires, curb
feelers, and schoolbus-yellow paint. Yep, a hot rod, for sure.

The howl of his motor snapped my reverie, and I looked back into the
driver's eyes, nodded, then blipped my own throttle. As I tugged on my
driving gloves and slipped on my sunglasses (gotta look cool to be fast,
and I am *damn* cool, hence...), the night was split with the sound of
seven screaming cylinders...

Then the light turned... I almost had him out of the hole, my three
pounding cylinders thrusting me at least a millimeter back into my seat, as
smoke pouring from my front right tire... my unlimited slip differential
was letting me down! I saw in the corner of my eyes, a yellow snout
gaining, and I heard the roar of his four cylinders. He slung by me, right
front wheel juddering against the pavement, and he flashed me a smile as
his .7 extra liters of motor stretched its legs. I kept my foot gamely in
it, though, waiting for the CHECK ENGINE light to blink on in the one-gauge
(no tachometer here!) instrument panel. I saw a glimpse of chrome under his
bumper, and knew the ugly truth... He was running a custom exhaust --
probably a 2-into-1 dual exhaust ... maybe event cutouts! Damn his hot-rod
soul! The old lady passing us on the crosswalk cast a dirty look in our
boy-racer direction...

Yet still I persisted, with my three pumping pistons singing a heady
high-pitched song, wound fully out. Though only a few handfuls of seconds
had passed, we were nearing the crosswalk at the other side of the
intersection, and I heard the note of his engine change as he made his
shift to second, and I saw his grin in his rearview mirror fade as he
missed the shift! I rocketed by, shifting, and nursed the clutch gently in
to keep from bogging, keeping my motor spinning hot and pulling me ahead,
now trailing a cloud of stinking clutch smoke. Not ready to give up so
easily, he left his foot in it, revving, and I heard one wheel *almost*
chirp as he finally found second and dropped the clutch. We careened over
the crosswalk, now going at least 15 miles per hour. A bicyclist passed us,
but intent on the race as we were, neither of us batted an eye.

He pulled slowly abreast of me, and neck and neck, we made the shift to
third, the scream of motors deafening all pedestrians within a five foot
circle. He nosed ahead as we passed 30 miles an hour, then eased in front
of me, taunting, as we shifted into fourth. I was staring up the dual 6"
chrome tips of his exhaust, snarling, my cappuccino forgotten, as he lifted
a little to take the next corner.

I saw my opportunity, and counting on the innate agility of my trusty
steed, I pulled wide into the number two lane and kept my foot buried in
carpet. Slowly, I inched around him, feeling my Metro roll slowly to the
left as I came abreast in the midst of this gradual sweeping turn. I felt
the Geo ease onto its suspension stops, and felt the right rear wheel
slowly leave the ground - no matter, though, because my drive wheels, up
front, were pulling me through the corner, and around the Festiva ... The
Ford driver beat his wheel in rage as my wife's car eased past him on the
outside, my P165/54R13's screaming in protest, as we raced to the next
light. We coasted down, neck-and neck, to the red light. I tightened my
driving gloves, ready for another round, when this WIMP in the next car
meekly flipped his turn signal and made a right. Chevy (Suzuki) superiority
reigns!!!

I drove off sipping my masculine drink, awash in my sheer virility, looking
for other unwitting targets.... Perhaps a Yugo, or maybe even a Volkswagon
Van!

CLIF NOTES: yes its long, but worth it. Chevy metro takes ford festiva. battle of the giants.

 

Haha, that is a fantastic write-up.

 

that is hilarious!!!

 

You'd be suprised how fast a Festiva is with a 5 speed and when it is driven correctly... My friend has one and he has beat a V6 Camaro before. No joke. I've been in it when some soccer mom in her V-8 explorer tried passing us in the right-merging lane... I just heard the engine whining and him cackling, but didn't see any passing.

 

Almost ANYTHING can beat a V6 Camaro. My friend's STOCK 92 3.1L CAVALIER could destroy a '00 V6 Camaro....

Funny how Chevy made their cavalier's faster than some of their "sports" cars....

 

Im glad you guys enjoyed it.

 

You and some of the great literiay writers of our time must hang out that was great. I hope you don't waste your talent

 

That was awesome, totally capturing the essence of the scene. It was like i was watchin a movie. Nicely written Jarod!

 

Never heard of 54 series tires before, though.

 

probably because there like on 7 inch rims

 

that was frickin hilarious, my teacher drove one of those steaming piles too .........hahaha

 

Man, my backup car would put up a mean fight in that race.

1991 Daihatsu Charade 1.0 Liter 3 Cylinder

Running on 165/70/13 Goodyear Clubs Drag Slicks!

 

what the hell is a Daihatsu Charade ?????????? hahahaha

 

OOPS! Im sorry guys, I did not write that..and I do not know who has..but you have inspired me to write short stories about stuff like that..i have always liked writting, now yo uwill get one from time to time

(im a funny author too)

 

Hehe, this pretty much looks like my car, although this one is much cleaner. Funny thing is, there is actually a turbocharged version of this car overseas. Imagine a Turbo 1.0 3 cylinder. Awesome!

http://www.austinev.org/evalbum/153a.jpg

 

okay, lol. S'all good