one friend tells me that with a light flywheel i should not pop the clutch or clutch kick because it will mess up the clutch or flywheel. And another friend says that it makes no difference what flywheel i have, the clutch will still take the same damage with any flywheel. what is the correct answer?

 

The aluminum flywheel will probably have accelerated wear by poor clutch practices, but both will see damage.

 

aluminum will show accelerated wear compared to steel.

Either way, you should drive correctly instead of being abusive. There are more components than just the clutch/flywheel that don't take too kindly to improper driving practices.

 

Your aluminum flywheel probably has a replaceable friction material so it likely won't wear out much if any faster than a steel flywheel.

 

Aluminum WILL wear out MUCH faster on the street its simply just not made to spin slowly and engage over and over again the way street driving is, the weight of the light steel vs light aluminum state recommendations for street/strip for that reason. Yes the friction surfaces are the same but the weigth loss at a certain point causes chatter on slow engaging which causes uneven and excess wear.