drag racing = male orgasm (short and unsatisfying. little or no skill required, either.).

road racing = female orgasm (long and apparently awesome. Very elusive for those who lack the skills required).

autocross = dry humping (cheapest, but better than nothing)

talking about these things without actually doing them = shooting blanks, all alone, in your parent's basement, your only companion being a computer and some porn.

Drag racing= very little skill and you tend to break things...frequently. If you loose, you either claim that something broke or you had the slow lane. Take a sports car designed to corner well and race it in a straight line.... for those who formerly rode the short bus to school and licked windows on the way.

Open track/HPDE (not really racing. sanctioned racers excepted) = alot more skill to do it right, but wears out stuff on cars and get's expensive. Of couse this is overshadowed by the fact that you can take a 30 sec video of yourself passing a turbo Porsche doing his cool-down lap and then claim you were the faster to you buddies.

Autocross: Cheaper, easier on the car but you go through consumables pretty quick, tires and brakes. You race against others in your class and the clock. Skill based but it's objective. No bragging to your friends over the 10th beer of the night how you would've- could've have beat that guy in the mullet 'ceptin' you just "couldn't hook it up", or your shifter light burned out.

ouch big guy, that's pretty harsh...but also entertaining.