will a ems fix the head ache
 

alright the more i read the more i get confused. ppl say not to do the s5 tii motor in the s4 and others say its not a big deal. im trying to avoid the headache of the harness and computer so my question is if i get a stand alone will the dash wires from the s4 and the engine wires from the s5 motor plug into the stand alone with any problems any suggestions on a standalone for this swap?

For the average person, wiring in a standalone is much more difficult than a S5 -> S4 swap.

wont a stand alone atleast come with directions instead of cotting wires and mix matching wires and capping wires that i dont need off? im not very knowledgble with wireing i just keep getting more and more confused can someone tell me what the easyiest method would be and if they know of any thread with a write up on the wireing for this swap

There is no engine management system that is going to allow you to plug the S4 and S5 harnesses together into the same ECU. If your car is an S4 then use the S4 harness and make the appropriate changes to the engine.